So, wow. Five seconds made me feel better.

I was thinking about how I didn't really know where to go from here. There are a lot of directions that THE relationship could grow, but the way I am, I was just thinking that I didn't really know what else I could do. I was happy with the cards I'd been dealt, but in the grand scheme of things, they were nothing without THE relationship. And even though I've been away from Him, it's like He's teaching me more about Him. He's teaching me more about who He is, how He is. Even though I'm confused, even though I doubt.. this confusion and this doubt are good things. I'll grow. I just need to stop being so lazy! I mean, I could be so much stronger by now. I could be so much happier because I'd be loving Him and doing things that make Him happy and then His happiness would make me happy. His love would give love to me, love to give, love to receive. And no, it's not about me. It never was.


I can't type the rest. But there is one God. I know this to be true. And He's in control of everything, but not everything can be perfect all the time because people aren't perfect. Nothing in this world is perfect. Good people die, some crazy things happen.. but if they had been altered, it'd have been worse. Life would have been worse. Ugh, I don't know. I keep getting stuck on ideas. I have so many questions, and I don't know where the answers are.



But I've fallen in a good way. It's making me so much more open-minded. It's making me love myself more.