It's hard to understand why you're diving into this whirlpool of nonsense. You're trying to open a heavy door with padlocks and barbed wire, and I'm trying to keep it from hurting you, but now it's wearing me out. I'm so tired, hiding these flaws. Why can't they just go away? Or why can't you stop knocking? I don't want the wire to cut you, I don't want your muscles to cramp up and cause you to stumble. I want you to be clean, fresh, strong. Stay invincible for me.. or at least the make believe invincible that you are now. Because no one is really invincible, right?
I used to think that I was invincible, that I would never get in an accident, that no matter what happened, I would never die. And I guess that, in a sense, I really will never die.. my soul won't die, anyway. But I used to think that my body would never die or get older or really change at all. But I've changed so much. I've grown so much.. in undesirable ways, mostly. Sometimes I wish I could go back to 14 and be beautiful and thin again. I don't know why I can't make myself love curves. All of my blogs come back to this. Dear God, help me to get over this nonsense! Ugh.
This is Kate Moss.
This is Scarlett Johansson
Monday, July 06, 2009
My Eyes Roll
Posted by Amanda at 3:20 PM
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1 comments:
The thing is, if you're talking about him...and I don't mean Him, I mean him. If you're talking about not wanting to hurt him with showing the flaws, it's not going to happen. Just like all my problems and struggles aren't going to go away when I go to Texas. It takes time with Him to make those go away, and only with Him. You can change your surroundings just like I'm changing mine by going to Texas, but who you are won't change with your surroundings. A little lesson I'm learning that is teaching me a lot.
Hey, have you started reading the book yet? I know you'll like it as soon as you get started.
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