I'm dancing through hallways in a building that is You. You are the doors, You are the walls, You are the foundation. Even though I'm leaping and twisting, I'll never be fast enough to escape the life You have for me. And it's hard to figure out why I want to escape so badly. Is it human nature to want to live on the edge? And this isn't even the typical edge. This is just seeing You and passing You by. This is just taking what You have given me for granted. For the past several days, I have stopped in shame. I'm doing laundry, and Your walls close in around me. Thank You, thank You, thank You. These are not words that I can keep inside of me. The blessings spilled over and out of my mouth. It's not fair at all because I don't know what I can do for You. I know that there is still growth to be done, but I feel like I'm going nowhere if I don't share this, if I don't work for it. Because I'm doing nothing, and You're giving me everything. How can Love be so great? How can I make my love the same way? I grow selfish and bitter, tainting the meaning of the word until it means nothing at all. I want what I want when I want it, and when I don't get it, the world collapses. I'm spinning out of control over a day of nothing, when You could reason while experiencing the greatest pains. Isn't nothing better than pain? Or is it better to experience it, to live it, so that we may realize how much we are blessed when it subsides?

It's funny. I'm trying to write love songs for someone else, but You are all that's in my head right now. You are beautiful, You are everything, and though I feel far from You at times, though I don't completely understand who You are, I am thankful for You. I love You. Without You, I would be nothing. I am still nothing, yet you find worth in me. I based my life one thing, and then I lost that one thing. I stopped loving myself, caring about myself, I gave up all hope. You never gave up on me, and for that, I am thankful.

I have never been at peace, and I never will be at peace with this. If I became at peace, I would lose all hope of going any further. It is always necessary to go further. That doesn't mean that I will always be sad. There are times of great joy, but there is never contentment. There is never a feeling of completion because the journey is never complete. Life doesn't stop and settle down at a certain age. The adventure continues forever and forever.