2009

After spending 12 billion years writing that blog on 2008 that wasn't even a very good blog, I want to think about things that are going to happen. Being stuck in the past is depressing. It's fun to be nostalgic sometimes, but that was too much.

January.
Two more weeks, and it's over. It seems crazy. The year just started, and the first month is over in two weeks. This week marks a week of freedom from school and Calculus, but unfortunately, a week full of work. I am glad to get the hours that I've been asking for finally, but it's a bummer that I'm taking school and replacing it with work. My paycheck is going to be absolutely stellar, though. I really need to build my savings account back up. I need to start thinking about my future more instead of living in the moment so much. I don't need to fear my future and let it keep me from experiencing the present, but I just need to keep it in mind.

26th-
School starts back up next Monday with a new semester and new classes. I still have Calculus, but that's OK. I am free from Chemistry and English IV and the life-sucking Spanish III. I really wanted to learn a different language so I'd be able to break language barriers and help solve problems, but I learned absolutely nothing in that class. My mom bought Rosetta Stone for my sister one year when she was being home schooled. Maybe if I tried that and actually put effort into learning the language, I could accomplish something. I don't know. But I'm excited about my new classes--my second block with Amanda and my third and fourth with Ashton and Luke. I am super excited about Anatomy--learning so much about the human body, the amazing and incredible complexity... it's thrilling.

27th-
Eight months with my sweetheart. Maybe things haven't been the best lately, and it's entirely my stupid, selfish fault.. but in the world of high school relationships, eight months in special (at least to me). And I want to make it special for him too, even if I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish that. I love him. I really do.

31st-
This fast which is hardly a fast is over. Selfish me just wants to eat. Selfish me hasn't focused on the right things. Selfish me wants it to be a diet, but God knows better. It's hard for me to believe that He'll change my distorted perception, that He'll help me to focus on the right things, to see the big picture, to get my eyes off of myself--but He will. He is God. He can do anything. Although sometimes I'd like to believe that it'd be easier to part the Red Sea than to change the way my imperfect human mind works.

February.
Early in the month, I find out about UNCG scholarships. I know that I'm getting pretty much NOTHING for State and I really don't want to go to UNCW at all, so finding out about the scholarships is just telling me how long I'm going to be in debt after having to pay for college. I love my conversations with Amanda Boyle when we talk about out cluelessness and living without electricity in order to save money. I hope she gets to go to UNCW, and I hope that she is blessed with the right amount of money to go. But the next step of the UNCG scholarship thing is the interview in March, which I am terrified about if I even make it that far. After not being accepted into Chapel Hill, I'm doubting myself in so many ways. I was sure I would get it. I talked about not getting in, but in the back of my mind, I knew I would. But then I was waitlisted. Gah. I feel like such an idiot. If only I had tried harder, studied harder for the SAT's, done more community service, taken more time to write my essays. But I guess that it was God pointing me more towards UNCG. Not just because Luke will be there, but because of everything it has to offer. Nursing. It's crazy how God brought that idea to light. I was at work, and this customer starts talking about jobs and the economy. Then he asks me what I want to do, and I pull out my usual, stammered, "Uh, uh, I don't know. Maybe psychology stuff?" And then he starts to talk about teaching and nursing and how those positions are in very high demand. Then it clicked in my head. Nursing. I had always wanted to do something in the medical field. I had thought about being a doctor, but then after hearing so many people tell me how trying and expensive medical school could be, I was just like.. umm, no. But nursing. It's like--woah, perfect. And whenever I go to Dr. Rob's office for check-ups and blood tests and whatnot, I don't even see Dr. Rob because of the awkwardness. I see the Nurse Practitioner. After I saw her for the first time, I started asking my mom all these questions about medical school and nursing school and steps and family life and everything that she told me, it all made this perfect connection in my heart and my mind: I want this. The only reason my mom knows so much about that sort of thing is because she was originally going to school to become a doctor, but after seeing the cadavers that she would have to work on, she did a 180 with her career decision and went for an education degree. But its cool to see how everything happens for a reason. She was into that doctor stuff for a while so she could tell me about it, so God could speak through her to me about what He wants to do with my life. It's exciting. But UNCG has an amazing nursing school, and chyeah, I am excited. I need to shop for prom dresses too.

7th-
Raquel's Fiesta! She will be 18 (in January), but her fiesta will be awesome (as she is), and I'm so happy that she's finally having the amazing party with all of the focus on her as it should of been on all of her other birthdays. Silly shared dinner parties (although they were fun, but a little too dramatic).
14th-
Valentine's Day. Luke has his Teaching Fellows interview, and I'm so proud that he's made it so far and I hope and pray that God provides him with everything that he needs to go farther. He would make such an awesome teacher, although I'd never want to be a teacher because I'd probably murder someone, but you know. He's patient and kind and at the same time, he knows how to stand up for what he believes in. And I'm so happy about our first Valentine's Day together. Even though Valentine's Day is basically a greeting card holiday, it's nice to have a valentine. Especially such an amazingly, incredibly sweet one.

24th-
My sister turns 20. It's so weird to me. I don't know why. I hope she has a good birthday, though.

27th-
9 months with my loooove. 3/4 of a year! I'm excited and happy.

March.
So, if the UNCG stuff goes well, I have an interview sometime this month. The only interviews that I've ever really had are job interviews for Chick-fil-A, and the interviewing people (Glenn and Jerry) were so exceptionally nice that it was almost like I'd known them for a while and was just having a conversation. They asked me questions about my mornings and my future and my greatest influences. And they shared their answers too--that was mega cool and chill. But these interviews, I am scared about. Oh, and I have had other job interviews too, but I've never had a job before Chick-fil-A, so obviously those did not go very well.

21st- I turn 18. Woo. I'm not even that excited.

27th- 10 months.

April.
9th- PROM! PROM! PROM! with novio asombroso <333

21st- Nathaniel turns 12.

27th- 11.<3

May.
School will be wrapping up. Krysteah will turn 18 on the 18th. Exciting stuff. And I'll have to confirm where I want to go to college and stuff. Woah.

June.
GRADUATION! High school will be over forever :D


And that's as far as I can think right now.