These blogs are all sad. But that's only because I'm not the type to sit around and waste my happiness staring at a computer screen. When I'm happy, I'm out, I'm living, I'm active. Depression is showcased with disinterest, lethargy. And the disinterest, the lethargy means I'm here, I'm home, I'm lying down, I'm staring at these little black letters.

So, I've been running and falling and sleeping and waking. And the waking is the hardest, the falling is the easiest. All of the empty spaces make me cringe, and they're getting emptier. But oh well, life goes on. I just..

I can't stand it. You were right. It's not enough. And I'm not enough. I'm not her, I'll never be her. I'm not enough, and I'm sorry. I don't even know how to begin to try. I try to be there, but I can't. I don't even think you want that. I really don't think that you understand how much I care. Maybe it was never intended to have so much feeling, but those four days made me crazy, I guess. I fell hard in the best way, and then whatever it was that was so great.. well, it left, and the coldness began. And I tear up when I talk about you because you leave me so often. And when I worry, you're angry. Does that solve anything? Do you even care at all? Why do I have to like you so much? Why can't I be valuable, appreciated, human? Why can't I feel anything from anyone else?