I'm Gone

Dear you,

You hardly deserve to receive the title 'dear,' but I am the enemy forever, so you, obviously can do whatever you want, living out your ridiculous childhood fantasies like you are the only one that matters. And everyone will think it's fine. They will be filled with bliss as you continue on with a romance, disregarding the death of a friend because she wasn't really that important anyways. It's not like she can feel anything. In your head, she's a demon and you must avoid her like the plague. I mean, she was never really good enough to be your sister in Christ. Why would Jesus love someone like her? And if Jesus doesn't love her, you certainly shouldn't. So good job, love. You're being just like Jesus. I'm so proud of you. And I don't want to hate you, but now you hate me. Everyone on your side of the fence hates me. I never tried to make you stumble. What did I do? I pretend to be happy to not stress you out and now we're not talking, but through all of this blind hate, I love you and I care about you. Just because I'm negative about my own circumstances doesn't mean that I can't be with you through yours. It doesn't mean that I can't feel for you. I have compassion, but I also have common sense. I'm sorry if you mistake that for indifference. I'm trying to be open-minded, but my mind will only open so far. Just, please, be original. Don't take things that we had together and make them for a different we. Make things new. It eats at my skin like stomach acid. But I can't run anything, so let it eat away. I was Bella, incandescent happiness, Novia.. I mean, it's not fair to anyone to transfer those titles. Make it new. Wouldn't it mean more that way? And as a bonus, you wouldn't hurt me, but that's hardly important.

I'm sorry for being so mad at you. You probably don't deserve it. And I'm sorry. I want to forgive you. But these things take so much time.


Love,
Me