I'm drifting like woah, it's the feeling of being weightless when I am, in actuality, being weighed down. This happy phase was just a thin coat of paint. Now, I am stripped, I am raw, I am nothing. And it's so easy. It's so easy to sink into this and to make excuses.. but at the same time it's hard. It's hard to live in this constant sadness, this perpetual sorrow that springs forth in my life for no particular reason. I have control over nothing. My numbers are steadily increasing in every way possible. And I can't make them lower, I can't make them stable. I can't make myself into nothing because I don't even have control over it anymore.

250.. 275.. 1000.

140.. 139.. 100.