honesty.

i just made myself so sick that it hurts to breathe. my muscles are cramping, and my throat is burning. i hate being at home. i hate being at home. i can't control these stupid urges.

and now my body is going to grab onto all the water that it can, and i'm going to get even fatter. i'm going to break out with acne and hate myself even more.

i want water and water and water and americano and water and cold liquid down my throat and espresso in my veins. i want to dance and spin until i see stars and black and then fog and i'm gone. yeah, so long. nice knowing you.

man, i don't even have a style anymore. i don't fit into a category, i don't have an identity. and maybe i fit into the group that likes it like that. but who knows? i am shamefully self-aware.

shamefully, not shamelessly, mind you.