Say Anything

I've got this lump in my throat, and I need to get this pressure off of my chest. Everything about you is making me so sick, so sick. I remember when being with you was like laying down in a bed of flowers with the sun kissing my skin. Everything was warm and beautiful; nothing hurt. I can honestly say that I love you right now because I'm looking out for what's best for you. I'm leaving you alone, giving you space. I'm giving up the sun and putting on a sweater. I'm watching the flowers wither because there'll always be more flowers, right? I'm giving this up so you can have room to live. I'm giving this up so you can have time to do the things that matter to you. Is it terrible of me to want a little bit back? Is it terrible of me to want to see a picture of the sun, to briefly smell the fragrance of the spring flowers? I'm doing this for you, I'm being what you wanted me to be, but I'm coming up short, I'm coming up empty. Can you give back? You'll just say that you're trying, and I want to believe you, but I can't. The first couple of weeks that we were together I told you that I didn't want to picture a time where I would have to be without you, and yes, that is still true. Despite how much you are hurting me, I care for you, I want to be happy with you. But right now, we are a thousands worlds away. Your voice used to be like a thousand beautiful songs all at once, but now you are nothing but a trailing monologue, listless and bored. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm sorry for ruining you. It's all I ever do.. destroy people, drive them away. I thought this would be different, but I suppose it's not. Forgive me for being such a failure. Forgive me for being such an incompetent piece of garbage, a whining mosquito in your ear.

Please tell me that I'm wrong, please tell me that we can make this work, please tell me that you care about me, that you love me. Say anything.