Whatever Gets You Through Today

You know how TV shows sometimes title their episodes with songs titles?

I'm a sucker for any sappy, drama-filled TV show that does that, so I've decided to use the same technique when titling my blogs.

Anyways:

Today (or yesterday, seeing that it's around 12:30 AM) was not a good day. I was alone, and bad habits caught up with me. I can't let myself be alone for that long anymore.. at least not for a while. I need to talk to someone about it. I need someone that I can call. I'm sure that I could have called someone, and they would have talked to me about it, but it's sort of humiliating. I don't even know what I'd say if I had to call someone when I felt triggered. I'm so bad at talking about my emotions and letting people in to how I really feel. I used to be so open, but I think the world has changed me. Hollywood shows us these perfect, plastic people wearing those "fine, just fine" faces, and it makes everyone think that they have be the same way. And I am. Even if I'm breaking, I have to be "fine" because I don't want people to know that I have a weak spot. I don't want to burden anyone. And right now, I can't even really write about how I feel because I'm tired, and the words just won't come.

Tomorrow, I am going to drink so much coffee.
And I'm going to the store and buying lots of vegetable soup and sweet mint gum.
I have 29282390 magazines to read and 2 or 3 books that I never got around to finishing.
I will be distracted.
I will not break.