Sunday, January 20, 2008

My Curse

2,500.
121.
1/21: 125?
#1
1,000
110
15
52.5
1.5
3/20
60
59.

I'm running out of time.
I'm running out of time.
3500 * 15 = 52,500 / 4 = 13,125 = 3.75

125- 3.75 = 121.25 - 1/28

121.25- 3.75 = 117.5 - 2/4

117.5- 3.75 = 113.75 - 2/12

113.75- 3.75= 110- 2/19

typically

1500/1
-500 in - 500 out
r1hrpde1000
-1000pd -7000
shooooot man
freaking shoot

ksjsdkfjksdjfksdajfkdlasdklf

edit// a las diez y once en la noche

Church moved me a little bit today.
I need to take steps.
Small steps.
I mean, there are miracles, but I don't feel myself being one.
I don't want it enough.
For some reason, I like this too much.

My throat hurts. The dentist will know why.
3 times today. 3 times today. 3 times today.

I'm breaking. Breaking. I'm tired of having to break, but I feel this is my chest. I need control. I need structure. I need plans. I need consequences. Stop me, so I won't have to start. I can't exhale what I haven't inhaled. Small steps.

These words are jumbled, but they make sense to me.

2 comments:

Amanda said...

I understand. Not all the numbers, but I understand. And I'm really not afraid to tackle you if need be. (In the seriousness that is behind that statement. ;)) Take what Thomas said to heart. If that's what you're talking about with what church said. That you are beautiful because you are in God's image - stuff we hear all the time, but he seemed to bring it to the table in a different way - a more real way, you know? Didn't he use a 'c' word? I can't remember the word exactly because I didn't write it down. Or what the guy said this morning, whichever you're talking about that touched you.
I love you! (:

Anonymous said...

breathe.

you are loved. you are loved through this.