I don't get how my head works. Or my heart. Sometimes, I don't know which is which.

You're in it, you're in it. I fall asleep with you, but my dreams are discomforting. When I see your face I smile, but all I see on you is the smile I saw in my dreams-- for her, not for me. You love me, you accept me, and it hurts sometimes to have so much so far in advance because most things have a limit. The limit as variable la approaches forever is... high school? UGH. I should be accepting, I should let things fall into place, but you're too much. Five words cross my mind for the wrong reasons. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I feel completely vulnerable and (happy?), and I've before felt what I feel know. It scares me, it scares me, and I'm the type to cop out of scary experiences. Five words, five words-- so commonly said, but they could change my forever in a way that I don't want it to be changed. I can't let it be changed. I can't say these words, let weakness overtake a unit that is yet to be formed. Lines dance through my head, but I can't make them clear for you. Pictures fade into a snowy screen. Tedium remains the worst pain, although stillness is desired.