Mia, Mia, Mia. Leave me alone. We went a month without seeing each other. It was a great month. But then you met me in secret at that party last night. You spoke to me, you seduced me. You changed everything. Don't make me want you again. Don't make me go to you anymore. You're terrible. You are the devil's doll. And I hate you. I hate you so much. You screwed me up so badly before. I can't eat without getting sick anymore. I can't run or breathe without feeling acid burn throughout my whole body. I was just starting to recover from our past relationship. I don't want to start again. No, Mia. We can't do this. Get out. You aren't safe. You aren't healthy. You're not even pretty. You have a hole in your stomach. You're shedding like a cat, and your teeth are decaying inside your rotten mouth. I can see the blood in your eyes. You are so sick. You are so sick. And your disguise won't fool me. I'm not going to let you win. Just leave me alone... I can't take it. I can't take it. All of the pressure in my life. You used to make me feel so much better in those moments. I know the outcome was bad, but for those few simple moments, we were one. We were happy. But we can't be anymore. I can't be sick anymore. I'm screwing up my life for you, Mia. You're all I think about sometimes. My family can't handle this, my friends can't handle this. Tyler can't handle this. And they don't deserve it. None of them deserve it. We can't be, anymore. Can't you get it? Can't you get lost? Oh, I'm so confused. I love you and I hate you. I need you and you destroy me. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
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1 comments:
girrrl. i love you!
just keep talking like this. i know it may sound weird, me saying this, but mia is a demon, fo' real. I think they are so real and so evident in lives, and even really really scary sometimes. Like those stories about how these christians were hardcore christians and then they fell away from God and they started being haunted. those kind of stories are crazy, but it is so there. Good and evil. And the battle is so alive and so real; it's raging. The battle for each of our lives and for our world. I can see it in so many lives and stories about the pits that people are in, that arn't christians, what they are entangled with. It's becomming more and more alive and real to me. Fight it. Read scriptures and say them when this comes up. You may not be strong enough by yourself, but with Christ and the Word you are more than strong, and you are more than a conquror (sp x39483084 lol).
Satan wants to use this to break you so that you can't get up and when you do for a short time, he'll use things to push you back down. like prom for instance. something so fun will be used to scare you into thinking you won't be perfect in your dress. I know wiht stuff I'm going through he's using things to push me back down when I feel like I'm up for a little while. But we can't let him. He can't have control of our lives. Our lives can be so much more beautiful then that. We can live in Christ's ressurection and the freedom He brought. And you know what? It will be beautiful and we'll look back and be like, "yeah Satan tried to bring me down but he has NO control over me. I am free. And I will dance and I will sing and I will live in His Freedom." And we'll still have our problems but we'll be able to get back up seven more times even after we fall, like Proverbs 24:16 says.
There is going to be some major praying for you going on. Some major prayer warrioring going on for you, because I will NOT see her defeat you, because she WON'T! Stay strong girl, and keep thinking possitive. You're such an amazing, helpful person, and I hope you see that. (:
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