I'm gone, man. So gone. I'm not even sure what that means, but I feel gone. I don't know who I am or where I am. There's a small spark of hope in me that I can break free from the problems that I've struggled with for four years, but the rest of me is worn, tired, and lonely.
I need. I need. I need. I need so much. I need so much that I'm not looking for, that I'm not asking for, that other people aren't giving me. They aren't aware. They shouldn't have to be. I should be normal, I should be OK, I should be affordable...but I'm not.
Darling, I'm afraid that this has to end.
It's not you, oh, not you
who has prompted this dire circumstance.
I'm crying, crying, darling.
I'm dying, dying, darling.
And you
don't
deserve this.
No, you
don't
deserve this.
I can't write.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Carry That Weight
Posted by Amanda at 8:45 PM
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1 comments:
hold on to that spark of hope. Hold on to it with the thought that things will get better. Like your mom said, "don't say stuff that let's satan in." lol, or she said something like that. Meaning go about life like Satan can't get you. It's hard, but change your mindset. Ask God to help you change your mindset - from thinking the worst to thinking the best, of everything, even when things seem at their worst.
It's crazy what just that can do to you. I've experienced it with my own life. When I started to change what I let myself think. Even things I didn't realize I had been thinking, it just had become routine. Satan can't do half the stuff it seems he can when your mindset is changed. It puts up this sign that say's "Back off Satan, things WILL be better and I know I'm a good enough person to let myself believe that. Because the beautiful Painter Himself thinks I'm worth it that much."
(: I love you girl, and you deserve more days when your day is full of smiles.
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